The Blackmail Tape
by Riana Mustang
Summary: Rehteah records Xani snoring/talking in his sleep and decides to sell the tapes. Evil plot bunny that spawned from a hilarious conversation with bluefire and watching Snow Dogs one too many times. R&R please! Don't make me beg here!


The Blackmail Tape  
Author:Silverwolfprincess  
Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to GL. I own Rehteah Lumarin and Sasha. Xani belongs to Jude Watson. Everything else belongs to my friend bluefire. We don't get paid, you don't sue, ok?  
Summary: Rehteah records Xani snoring/talking in his sleep and decides to sell the tapes. Evil plot bunny that spawned from a hilarious conversation with bluefire and watching Snow Dogs one too many times. LOL! Don't ask.  
Feedback: Yes! It's a writer's best friend! ::starts to sing, gets cut off by muse::  
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Rehteah Lumarin was headed toward the commons to meet Jin when she started hearing odd noises coming from somewhere nearby. She stopped for a moment, her ears perking up. After a few minutes, she shrugged, blowing it off as a hallucination.   
  
  
But as she started walking again, she heard the noises again and her curiosity started to get the better of her, until finally she couldn't stand it anymore. She followed the noise straight to its source. It was coming from Xanatos' room. She didn't even bother to knock, just opened the door.  
  
The sight that greeted her when she did so very nearly made her fall over onto the floor with uncontrollable laughter. She quickly shut the door and leaned back against it. She slid down the floor, shaking with her laughter, her blue-gray eyes squeezed shut as tears of mirth slid down her face. This was absolutely too much!  
  
She was briefly tempted to go back to her room and get her video camera, but then a far more evil idea occured to her. She stood up, bracing herself on the door as she did so, laughing evilly under her breath.  
  
"Mental note to self, talk Kit into letting me borrow her portable tape-recorder before Xani-butt wakes up."  
  
With that in mind, she continued on her way to the commons. A few people glanced her way as she started laughing occasionally as the mental image of Xani fast asleep, snoring and talking in his sleep, came into her head. She ignored the strange looks she got from them.  
  
When she entered the commons, she saw Jin immediately, standing on the other side of the room, talking to Kit and James. He looked up and waved her over when he saw her, and she joined them a moment later. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then she turned to Kit.  
  
"Hey, Kit, can I borrow your tape recorder for a while?"  
  
"What did you have in mind?" Kit asked.  
  
Rehteah shrugged. "I passed by Xani's room a few minutes ago. He's fast asleep and is snoring and muttering in his sleep. I figure if I can get it on tape, we'd have an advantage over him next time he starts in on one of us," she answered.  
  
"Did you happen to catch what he was saying?" James asked.  
  
Rehteah shook her head, a look of pouting regret on her face. "No, unfortunately I wasn't able to make out what he was saying. Can I use the recorder, Kit?"  
  
Kit snickered. "Yeah, but you owe me a copy," she said.  
  
Rehteah nodded. "No problem. Oh, you've just given me a really good idea," she said.  
  
"What's your idea, love?" Jin asked.  
  
She grinned. "You'll see in a little while, as soon as I can get the recording. Come back to the commons in a couple hours if you aren't still here when I get back," she said mysteriously as Kit handed her the tape recorder.  
  
Then she gave a dramatic bow and walked away, heading back in the direction of the guys' dorm rooms, making sure there was a blank tape in the recorder. Oh yes, this was definitely going to be to their advantage.  
  
She reached Xani's room a few minutes later. She reached out with the slightest tendril of her Force powers, confirming that he was still asleep. She used her powers to deepen it a little bit, but not enough that it would spoil her plans.  
  
Then she opened the door and crept into the room as quietly as she could, tucking her black wings behind her protectively so she wouldn't risk waking up Xani. She slipped the tape recorder under his pillow just enough so that it wouldn't be seen, but still sticking out enough that it would accomplish what she wanted it to. She hit the record button and slipped out of the room, shutting the door silently behind her.  
  
Now to carry out part two of her plan. She left the Spider House, unfurling her wings as she got outside and took to the air.   
  
It only took her twenty minutes to get to the nearest grocery store. She landed and went inside, grabbing a cart and heading towards the back of the store. She grabbed as many blank cassette tapes as she could, twenty-one tape recorders like the one Kit had let her borrow, and also some blank video tapes for her camcorder, as well as a few different kinds of soda and some treats for Blondie. Then she headed for an empty check-out line.  
  
The guy behind the counter was tall, with a tan complexion, brown hair and cobalt blue eyes. He gave her a smile that seemed almost forced as she started to put the items in her cart up on the counter. She half-expected him to say something, as he looked more than a little stressed, but he just rang up the items without a word.  
  
"That'll be $52.81, ma'am," he said.  
  
Rehteah cursed mentally to herslf. She only had $40.00 with her. Then an idea struck her and she glanced around quickly to make sure no one else could overhear her. Once she was sure that they couldn't, she waved her hand through the air in front of the guy's face, using one of her mind tricks on him.  
  
"I've already paid you," she said.  
  
"You've already paid me," he said emotionlessly, his eyes glazed over as if he were in a trance.  
  
She waved her hand in front of his face again. "You will put this stuff in bags for me so I can be on my way."  
  
"I will put this stuff in bags for you so you can be on your way," he repeated, doing as he was asked.  
  
When he was finished, he handed her the bags and her receipt. She took them from him and waved her hand in front of his face one more time. "You will forget you ever saw me here. Go home and get some rest, you need it," she said.  
  
"I will forget I ever saw you here. I need to go home and get some rest," he repeated, shutting off the light over the check out line and walking away.  
  
Rehteah chuckled to herself as she left the store. "Haha, the old mind trick gets them every time," she muttered, laughing at the guy's gullibility as she took to the air and headed back for the Spider House. Through the bond that still existed between her and Qui-Gon, she felt a slight shred of amusement. It surprised her, and she responded to that touch, wondering for a moment if she had only imagined it.  
  
//Qui-Gon?// she asked tentatively.  
  
//Yes, little one, it's me// he sent back.  
  
Rehteah's eyes filled up with tears. //I've missed you// she said.  
  
//I've missed you too, Padawan.//  
  
//You're probably the only one there who has. The others are probably glad I'm gone// she said quietly, trying to keep the bitterness out of her tone.  
  
//Sasha misses you, too. Where are you?//  
  
Rehteah hesitated a moment before answering. //It's a different realm called the Otherside. It's beautiful here, and I don't get judged because of the color of my wings. I've also fallen in love with someone// she responded finally.  
  
She felt him flinch through their bond, though he hadn't intended for her to. //Will you ever come back?// he asked.  
  
//I don't know. Maybe someday. I don't even know how I got here in the first place really, or how I'd ever get back there// she said, though not unkindly.  
  
//I understand. I hope you find a way back here.//  
  
//If I can, I will. Look, I have to go for now, but I'll leave our bond open and contact you later//   
  
//All right. Promise me you'll contact me again later// Qui-Gon sent back quietly.  
  
//I promise// she said.  
  
//And Padawan?//   
  
//Yes, Master?//  
  
//No matter what anyone else thinks, Sasha and I care about you. You're a part of our family// he sent back.  
  
//I know. I miss you. If I ever can, I'll come back, if only to see you for a short time. You're like the father I never had.//  
  
He sent a wave of love and warmth to her through their link. She smiled slightly to herself, her eyes filled with tears, but neither of them said anything more. They didn't have to.   
  
Finally she arrived back at the Spider House. She wiped away her tears as she landed and went inside. She headed for her room just long enough to drop the bags off and then headed for Xani's room.   
  
When she got there, he was just leaving, and she ducked behind the corner so she wouldn't be seen. He stopped for a moment, and she was afraid he would discover her lurking in the hallway there, but he just shrugged and walked away. As soon as he was gone, she slipped into the room and grabbed the tape recorder, relieved that it had not been found by Xani. She slipped it into her pocket and left the room again.   
  
She headed back towards her dorm room, taking some of the lesser used corridors. When she reached her room, she glanced around to make sure that nobody was lurking around and slipped inside, shutting the door quickly behind her.   
  
Once inside, she walked over to her bed and took the tape out of the recorder. She grabbed a pen from the small nightstand table and labeled it 'Xani blackmail tape, Rehteah's copy'. Then she put it in one tape deck in her stereo and opened up a package of blank tapes, putting one in the other tape deck. Then she put it on speed-record, repeating the process until she'd made over a thousand copies. She put the recorded tapes in some bags as well as the tape recorders she'd bought, keeping one for herself, leaving the original in the tape deck and putting the copy that she'd promised Kit in exchange for using her tape recorder into the pocket of her jeans. Then she grabbed the bags with the soda and dog treats, using the Force to open the door and levitate the other bags in front of her.   
  
She stopped at Kit's room to drop off the dog treats for Blondie and continued walking towards the commons. Half of the school had to have been there, she noticed, and grinned evilly as she moved to the far side of the large room and set up shop on the recently empty karaoke stage. She used the Force to levitate an empty table up onto the stage and put some of the tapes out on display. Then she picked up the microphone and turned it on, tapping on it a few times.  
  
"Testing, testing. Is this thing on? I know you're out there. I can hear you all breathing!" she joked, recieving a few laughs from the assembled crowds. "Attention everyone! Now on sale, for only $5.00, tapes of Xanatos DeCruet snoring and talking in his sleep! The first twenty customers will recieve a free tape recorder!"   
  
Moments later, a huge crowd of students and even a few of the patrons had crowded around her make-shift sales-booth. She laughed and looked out over the crowd, noticing Kit, James, Cleo, Jin and Ping, and even Arachne waiting impatiently to buy a copy. She waved to her friends and turned back to the waiting crowd in front of the booth.  
  
She'd been selling tapes for about fifteen minutes when there was sudden commotion near the back of the crowd. Several people protested as they were shoved aside. Rehteah flinched when she saw the pale complexion and longish black hair. It was Xanatos. She rolled her eyes as he finally reached the front of the crowd.   
  
"What can I do ya for?" she asked, just a touch of sarcasm in her voice.  
  
"What are you selling?" he asked.  
  
"None of your business, creep," she answered, handing a tape to someone else in the crowd and taking the five dollar bill the guy handed her.  
  
"What are you selling?" he asked again.  
  
"Nothing," she said.  
  
"What are you selling, Lumarin?" he demanded again, his tone becoming irritated.  
  
"Nothing. Either buy something or go to hell. Better yet, why don't you just do us all a favor and go to hell, scar-boy? Oh, and if you ever call me by just my last name again, I'll make sure you lose something really important. You got that?"   
  
Several people in the crowd laughed at this, and calls of, "Ooooh! Harsh! He just got dissed! No, he just got rejected and DISmissed!" could be heard from some of the students gathered around.  
  
Xani was getting impatient. "For the last time, you little red-haired pain in my ass, Spawn of Satan, what are you selling?"  
  
"And for the last time, it's none of your business, so why don't you just pack up your big-city butt and go to hell, you jackass?" she snapped, taking a twenty dollar bill from someone and handing them four copies of the tape.  
  
Annoyed with the conversation that was going nowhere, Xani looked around for a moment and noticed the tapes that were sitting out on display. He picked one up and looked at the label. When he realized what it said, his face turned beet red as he looked back up at Rehteah, and his sapphire eyes blazed with a weird, angry blue fire that reminded her of the hottest part of a flame. She shuddered.  
  
"REHTEAH LUMARIN!" he shouted angrily.  
  
"Uh-oh. Sorry folks, gotta go. Shop's closed for now! Come back later!" she yelped.   
  
She quickly shoved the tapes that she had left back into three bags, grabbed them and ran for it. Xani was hot on her heels, and it seemed that she was about to get caught, when she suddenly burst through the door and out into the courtyard. She let out a triumphant whoop and took to the air. She flew about thirty feet up in the air, just going up high enough to be out of the line of fire.  
  
"Come down here now, Lumarin!" Xani shouted angrily.  
  
She shook her head. "I don't think so, Xani-butt," she remarked.  
  
Xani was just about to say something more, when they heard the screech of a raven. Xani glanced up right above his head just in time for the bird to fly past him, taking a dump on his head in the process. Rehteah started laughing hysterically as Xanatos stumbled backwards, cursing loudly.  
  
"Kudos, raven!" she said and the bird screeched again and flew off.  
  
"Shut up, you little Spawn of Satan! This isn't funny!" Xani yelled.  
  
Rehteah laughed again. "Actually, dude, from where I'm standing, it's hilarious. I've heard of someone getting crapped on before, but this is ridiculous!" she yelped gleefully.  
  
"Why you little bitch!" Xani shouted.  
  
Rehteah narrowed her blue-gray eyes, though the amused expression was still on her face. "One, that's the Queen of the Bitches to you. And two, this bitch is having a great time at your expense and plans to continue doing so. There's nothing you can do about it," she smirked.  
  
Just then Blondie came running out the back door towards Xani. She stopped right in front of him. She lifted one leg and peed on his black pants and expensive boots. He cursed and tried to grab the dog, but she ran behind him and bit him on the butt as hard as she could. He yelped in pain.   
  
"Hey, Blondie!" Rehteah called. The dog barked happily and looked up at her.   
  
"CHEWTOY!" Rehteah shouted, pointing at Xani.  
  
"Crap," Xani muttered as the dog started chasing him, barking and snapping at him. "BAD DOG! BAD DOG! DOWN!"  
  
"There goes the moron. There goes the dog. Damn, there goes my entertainment!" Rehteah pouted.  
  
After a few minutes, Xani leapt up into a tree, climbing up into the highest branches. Blondie started trying to get up into the tree, jumping up and barking at him. Xani smirked, thinking he had finally outwitted the dog.   
  
"Who made it in the tree, dog? WHO MADE IT IN THE TREE? What are you going to do now, you demon mutt? You want some of this? That's right! That's right! You can't climb! You don't know what time it is! Get over here! How do you like that?! HAHA!" he taunted. Blondie's ears went back and her eyes narrowed. Again she lifted her leg and peed on the tree. "Oh that's cold," Xani remarked as the dog trotted away. "Yeah, that's right! Go back inside! This isn't over yet! This is only round one! You're going to wish you'd never met me, you possessed demon mutt!"  
  
Rehteah came down from the air and landed in front of Blondie, still laughing at Xani's predicament. She knelt in front of the dog and started stroking her fur. Xani glared at them and started to climb down from the tree, but Blondie noticed and barked at him and he went back up to his perch.   
  
"Good dog. That's my girl," Rehteah said affectionately.  
  
"YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET THIS, LUMARIN!" Xani shouted from the tree.  
  
"Yeah, right. In your dreams, scar-boy. You only wish you could have some of this," she smirked, tucking her wings behind her protectively and walking back inside with Blondie on her heels, locking Xani out as soon as they were inside.  
  
  
  
  
TBC...Yes, there's more of the insanity. Let's just say things aren't gonna get better for Xani-butt. Mwa ha ha! R&R please, but don't flame me please. I'll have the next part up asap. Oh, and go R&R SuchDarkness' and bluefire's fics too!  
~*Silverwolfprincess*~ 


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